Those First Six Months Post Partum
Those first 6 months of Jack’s life have already come and gone which is crazy. Considering so much has truly happened in that short amount of time; an out of state move, purchasing a new home, moving into said home, and so many of the things that ensue after a big life event(s). All with a newborn and a toddler. Not to mention we have had 8 different sets of visitors within 16 weeks. It has been quite the ride. Jack is now 7 months old which makes me a little sad because it goes so fast! I think it is because there is a strong chance that this could be our last baby. AH. And I LOVE the baby phase. Five to sixteen months is the sweet spot for me. They are just the cutest little chubby smushes that melt your heart with a simple smile and giggle. Then they learn the word “no”, and it is all downhill from there.
I wanted to share my trials and tribulations through the postpartum time, because being a new mom is HARD whether it is your 1st or 5th time around the block. So if you are curious, keep reading to see how I survived & sometimes thrived those first 6 months postpartum.
The First 3 Months…
The newborn phase is always such a blur for many due to complete exhaustion. For a few reasons, this time around was actually much harder. My experience was different with Jack from the start. Jack’s birth was not smooth. You can read more about that here, but I had a difficult labor. He was stuck in the birth canal for 2 hours and came out with meconium in his lungs. I held him for like 10 seconds and then he was whisked away to the nursery for monitoring. For reference, I pushed for 30 minutes with Stella and she came out pink and screaming with a perfect apgar score. Thank God Jack is perfectly fine, but looking back I think that experience has affected my mothering if you will. I am definitely more hyper aware than I was with Stella.
I think it is impossible not to compare your kids. I know you aren’t supposed to, but let’s be serious, we all do. I fell into that trap, and I couldn't help it. For example, I kept looking back on pictures to see when Stella had first smiled because I was so concerned Jack wasn’t a happy baby. He was fussy, had issues eating, had a tongue tie, and was diagnosed with acid reflux at around 3 weeks old. Once his tongue tie was reversed I noticed he was struggling still while feeding. (A quick side note: I decided to not pump or breastfeed after about a week. You can read about my struggle here with Stella because it basically was the same issue.)
At three weeks old, the pediatrician said it was most likely reflux so he prescribed pepcid. Next, we changed his formula a couple times and quickly learned gas drops were our new best friend. It was such a hard time though. I remember sitting in his rocker, crying feeling utterly helpless as he came off the bottle screaming. No one wants to watch their baby in discomfort. I swear it ages you.
Once we implemented all of the above mentioned tools, feeding was smoother and I assumed Jack would become happier. While it did improve his overall demeanor, he was still so fussy. I know every baby has their witching hour, but Jack seemed irritable from mid morning until bedtime. And it killed me because I remember again how different it was with Stella. All Jack wanted was to be held. And most of the time by me only. I vividly remember asking my mom and best friend over and over when this would get better? I was in tears almost daily over this praying he would just be a happier baby.
Jack’s first smile. I was SO excited!
And then my prayers came true! At around 12-13 weeks of age, Jack started to come into his own. He would smile almost all the time. He was content to chill in his bouncer or on his mat. He also began to notice his sister more and that was and is the sweetest thing to watch. If you didn’t know Jack in those first 3 months, you would never believe how fussy he truly was. Some may say I did all that worrying for nothing, but let’s be serious isn't that just part of being a mom?
Baby Blues
Baby blues are a thing and I definitely experienced them this time. I wasn’t necessarily depressed, but I felt incredibly overwhelmed and anxious about every little thing. I still was able to get out of bed, had an appetite (that never goes away), and found laughter in my day but it was all overshadowed by this lingering feeling of despair. It was taking me away from enjoying the present moment. At my 6 week postpartum check up, I talked to my dr about it. She suggested it was most likely a case of baby blues and also a mix of the stress from having a newborn, a toddler and an impending move on the horizon.
Medication was something I always wanted to steer away from and was a tad ashamed/embarrassed I needed it to be honest. I remember what my sweet friend said to me at the time, “Angelica, sometimes we need a friend. And sometimes that friend comes in a pill form”. Amen to that. I went on said pill to help with it all...the stress, the move, the moving logistics, the transition from 1 to 2 kids, the fussiness, and all of the things! It was a game changer. I always knew how crazy of a time this was going to be, but I did not foresee the toll it would take on my mental health. Conversations on Postpartum depression & baby blues are discussed more now than in the past, but I think there are still women who feel embarrassed or ashamed to admit they need help. It is silly when you think about it, but I get it. I felt that. I definitely didn’t want to announce to the world I needed help. And that is OK especially when you think of everything a woman goes through during childbirth, and the hormonal imbalances alone are enough to drive someone nuts.
It all comes down to this; if mom is not happy, the baby won’t be happy either. Ultimately this is why I stopped breastfeeding, pumping, and asked for some help in the form of a pill. No regrets for this mama.
I always remember what my sweet friend said to me, “Angelica, sometimes we need a friend. And sometimes that friend comes in a pill form”. Amen to that.
Nighttime Sleep
I have said this before and I will say it again, if you value sleep then get the Moms On Call book. This is my baby bible for everything from sleep to an unruly toddler. It is like an instruction manual for your baby. This book is what gave me the tools I needed to get both of my babies to sleep through the night from 7PM - 7AM within 7-8 weeks consistently. The method is simple and the book is short and to the point. The only time we had to do “cry it out” was with Jack when he dropped his swaddle. Yes, it was awful. And no, I didn’t sleep a wink. But it was worth it and I would do it over if it meant that he would be a well adjusted sleeper. Short term pain for long term gain.
If you are most people, you are probably thinking, “Oh you just have good sleepers”, you are wrong. I made them good sleepers. They are completely different babies, so when it comes to nighttime sleep that has nothing to do with it. I have preached out about this book to many people but it only works if the parents stick to it and stay consistent. Schedules may not be for everyone which is absolutely fine! We like to sleep and to have our evenings back, so this works for us. You have to do what works for you.
NAPS:
I followed the Moms On Call way for naps as well. Most were done at home in his crib if possible after those first few weeks. Jack was quickly nicknamed “No Nap Jack”. He fought naps like it was his job, and they usually resulted in me saving the nap by baby wearing or rocking him. This wouldn't have been that much of an issue if I only had one child and nothing to do. But I was about to move to a new state and had a very active toddler. There isn’t much you can do until they are 4 months or older. It really just made the days LONG.
When he was around 4.5 / 5 months and his naps still weren't getting better, I listened to my Moms On Call and did what many would deem insensitive; I let Jack cry it out during each nap. This took about 2 weeks and it was torture. I kept rereading the book and telling myself he was loved, he was capable and he was safe. And you know what? Once we got through those 2 weeks, Jack now takes two 2 hour naps; one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Of course there is occasionally an off day. But all in all, it worked and he is a happier baby and me a happier mama for it!
PP Exercise + Weight Loss:
For me movement is medicine. Exercise energizes me more than coffee, and gives me a boost of endorphins that make me a better person in a nutshell. That being said, I started to go on walks when Jack was 4 days old. I walked daily until I was cleared at 2 weeks to start jogging. I know, I know a lot of you are probably like “wtf? Two weeks?”. All I can say is my OB knew me well and could probably tell I needed this for my sanity. I ran slow and incorporated pre & post natal pilates and yoga into my weekly routine. I cannot recommend Melissa Wood enough for easy at home flows. Her method is gentle yet effective and perfect for post natal mamas. I stayed away from weights and anything intense until 6 weeks PP.
When it comes to losing weight, I think I am one of the lucky ones. With both of my babies, I never had to diet. The weight really did come off within 3 weeks. I know how annoying that sounds, because I have never been one of those women who could sit around all day and eat whatever I pleased. Having an active life during pregnancy plays a big role in PP recovery as well. I definitely lost some muscle mass which is common during pregnancy, and my stomach is not back to pre prego condition. After all this is my second kid, and there is some loose skin, but I really do not give a damn. My body made a baby and worked hard to deliver that baby. I am a busy mom of two now and have way more important things in life than to obsess over each ab muscle in my stomach. My advice for women who are struggling with PP weight loss or trying to get their “body back” is to just relax and not be so hard on yourself. Stay active, eat healthy but don’t deprive yourself. Everything in moderation. Everyone is different, and you can’t compare yourself to others as hard as that is.
“I am a busy mom of two now and have way more important things in life than to obsess over each ab muscle in my stomach.”
